“Killed 99 bears”
a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.
My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?
Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?
The bears made that tombstone.
A warning, and a prayer.
That he really, truely stays down.
This is too badass not to reblog.
hes got 99 problems but a bear aint one
Actually, considering he stopped just shy of an even hundred bears…..I’d say the last one bear probably was the problem.
That’s because the 100th bear was the boss. Boss fights will forever be a bear fighter’s doom.
And he looked down at the man, who seemed no bigger than a cub and raised a paw to his chest, as he said,
“Good Sir, you’ve nearly made this world unbearable.”
And before Mr. Whitehead could draw his Bear Killing knife (Made popular and possible by one David Crockett) or put on a fashionable pair of vintage sunlight filters over his eyes and speak an affirmative in an exaggerated fashion, the bear swiped down at him once and ripped his face clean off.
Almost unbearable indeed.
I find it funny that you can order nearly anything in the mail, even bees. So, I made a book about life and geometry and the grey area between the two, packaged into a compact brown box.
The images of bees are linoleum carvings stamped onto amber lighting gel, and the box holds itself together with tiny jewelry magnets.